Even if you are the friendliest person in the world, sooner or later you will meet someone who will annoy you. Successful people know how to deal with this situation.
Do not worry if you do not like someone. We are all different. And such a reaction reminds us that no one is perfect. Including ourselves.
1. Accept the fact that you cannot get along with everyone
This is normal. Someone likes you, but someone doesn’t tolerate you. This does not mean that something is wrong with you or with others. Each of us just has his own preferences.
A decisive role in this is played by the difference in characters. The extrovert will seem boring to the introvert, and the optimistic mood of the optimist may seem inadequate to the convinced realist.
We tend to invest in what we like. Suppose you are annoyed by one of your friends or colleagues. Of course, you will not look for meetings with him and keep in touch. But sometimes this approach can develop into an open hostility.
2. Try to understand the interlocutor
Maybe your mother in law does not consider you frivolous, as you always thought. A colleague is not really trying to set you up. Take a closer look, and perhaps you will understand the motives for their actions or even extract some useful advice.
Do not get angry if there really is a good reason for criticizing your address. You just put yourself in a bad light. Just take a word and take a critical note into service.
3. Keep your emotions in check
Your reaction to a particular situation depends only on you. She can infuriate you if you allow it. Do not waste your energy.
Do not give in if someone offends you or tries to get you crazy. Sometimes “smile and wave” is the best method.
It is very important to initially respect everyone you meet. This does not mean that you should always follow your lead and agree with everyone.
You need to be polite towards other people. Thus, you will remain in your opinion, keep calm and the advantage will be on your side.
4. Do not take everything to heart
Very often, we simply misunderstand a person. Perhaps he simply did not quite accurately express his thought or his day did not set in the morning. Do not break down on someone, because he can fall on you in response. This will only exacerbate the situation. Be above it, concentrate on the matter, not paying attention to the inadequate reaction of the interlocutor.
If you feel tired and tired, take a break, take a walk. Set a framework for personal space where no one can disturb you.
5. Speak calmly
Our manner of communication is often much more important than what we say. If the situation is heated, then it's time to talk about it. Nevertheless, dialogue should not be aggressive. It’s better to use sentences starting with the words “I”, “me”, “me”, for example: “It annoys me when you do this. Could you act differently? ”Most likely, the interlocutor will listen to you and also express his opinion.
Sometimes it is worth calling a third person for help. Another person can objectively assess the situation. Perhaps after the dialogue you will not become friends with the one with whom the conflict is ripe, but at least you can communicate normally.
Working with people you find it difficult to find a common language with is a rewarding experience that will show how you can deal with problems.
Not everything deserves your time and attention. You have to decide whether you really want to maintain communication with this or that person or whether it is better to concentrate, for example, at work.
Weigh the situation. Will it get worse over time? Sooner or later, the problem will have to be solved. If the conflict is overdue simply by coincidence, then you can quickly deal with it.
7. Do not take a defensive position
If you feel constant dissatisfaction with someone from you, if someone focuses only on your shortcomings, do not rush at this person with his fists. This is not a way out. This behavior will only provoke him. Instead, it’s better to ask directly what exactly doesn’t suit him. Gossip or oppression may be a sign that they want to manipulate or even demonstrate their power.
If a person wants you to respect him, he must treat you the same way.
There is one psychological trick: speak quickly when expressing your disagreement with someone. So the interlocutor will have less time for an answer. Slow down if you feel that he is ready to agree with you.
8. Remember that you yourself are the creator of your happiness
Of course, it is difficult to soberly assess the situation if someone is getting on your nerves. However, never let others pull you down.
If someone’s words really hurt you, understand yourself. Maybe you are not confident in yourself or you are worried about some working moments? If so, concentrate on resolving issues that are important to you.
Do not compare yourself with others, because we are all different.
More often remind yourself of your achievements and do not let anyone spoil your mood because of some little things!
How to decipher your feelings?
Your enemy is your reflection
How to communicate with someone who infuriates you?
Psychology proceeds from the fact that if any person is unpleasant to us, then the reason for this is projection. Projection is a protective mechanism based on the fact that the quality that is supplanted from one’s personality is attributed to another person. We are annoyed by what we do not allow ourselves to do or what we do not allow ourselves to be.
Unpleasant people are often our relatives: partners, children, parents. And then this not only poisons life by the constant presence of a close annoying person in it, but also destroys relationships, causes a feeling of guilt or shame.
If you find that you are really projecting onto the other person any repressed features of your personality, this does not mean that you must certainly remove the projection.
This means that you can increase your strength. Strength increases due to the fact that repressed quality is integrated into the personality and returns the integrity of the person.
Enemy Power Exercise
Remember a person who is unpleasant to you, or an abstract character who personifies an unpleasant, annoying quality. Describe it aloud or to yourself in great detail. Tell us how he annoys you so much, how he dislikes you. What kind of person is he - vicious, smug, accusing, critical, discontented, rejecting, sarcastic, complaining, arrogant, etc.?
Show it, play it. Stay with that person and act like he does. Speak as he speaks, move as he moves, gesticulate as he does. Speaking like him, use phrases, words that he speaks, referring to you or other people. Copy tone, timbre of his voice. Turn into it. Feel the field that he creates around him, the atmosphere of his being.
What is the strength of such a person, what is his truth? Feel this power, allow yourself to become this power. Feel that it is impersonal, that it’s just power, quality, energy. Step deep into the source of this power, be it. Allow this force to move you and manifest itself through you, through your movements, through your body. May you have an image of this power. It can be a real or mythical character, plant or animal.
What is this power, this quality, or can this energy be useful to you in life? How could you solve various life difficulties with its help? How could you interact with an unpleasant person with this power? How would you resolve your conflict with him? In what areas of life would this power still be useful to you?
How to find peace of mind?
Understand the essence of the problem
How to communicate with someone who infuriates you?
1. Take a break in communication with such a person in order to restore contact with yourself and understand that you are so annoyed or worried about this person.
2. Try to figure out who you feel next to such a person, who you are next to him.
3. Give yourself the opportunity to express the emotions that he evokes in you. If he makes you angry, allow yourself to be angry, if he annoys you, get annoyed, if he hurts you, feel the pain. Call a feeling by your name. Check to see if there is another feeling behind this feeling. Sometimes dislike goes away after you allow yourself to experience and express emotions.
4. Explain to yourself, outlining thoughts on paper or out loud, what is the essence of your claims to this person.
Why does he dislike you? Why are you displeased with the quality that he shows? Why did you decide that you can’t show such a quality or be such a person? When did you get it? How did you find it bad to be such a person? Is it connected with the norms and rules that are adopted in your family, or have you decided this based on your experience?
5. Realize what you would like from this person. What would you like to do with it? Can you afford it? If not, then why, what bothers you?
Sometimes a person can annoy to such an extent that he wants to inflict physical harm on him or destroy him. This can greatly frighten, arouse a feeling of shame or guilt and interfere with adequately dealing with the situation.
It is important to remember here that such desires are usually not caused by a real need to destroy or ruin health, but simply the inability to express strong feelings for this person or the inability to act in response. Points 3 and 5 help relieve tension, restore contact with yourself, your feelings and motivations.
Speak out loud to an unpleasant person: “I am angry with you / offended / ... Sometimes I feel so strong for you ... that I want you ... It is caused ... In fact, I want ... When you will be gone in my life, I can ... "